Fifth Day : My writing have many mistakes

By hari2ku

Today, Douglas gave us a paper about personal information to fill. After that, he gave us our homework that has been examined by him. I got a lot of mistakes, I will show you tomorrow (because I forgot to bring it to my office). We practice Yes, No, Not Given questions. Firstly, it’s easy because the statement was just a 2-3 lines. But after 2 task, he gave us a reading paper which contains lot of information in about 8-9 paragraph with different location and font. I was confusing, actually we all got it difficult to answer. Many tricky questions. We practice listening too, it is harder than ever the speakers talking in fast way. We can not realize that she was tell ’shop’ or ’shops’, ’sandwich’ or ’sandwiches’ I even just heard ’sand’ :( . Douglas gave us many papers to do at home. Because this is friday night and tomorrow wouldn’t be any IELTS course. Wendy, my IELTS course friend will be in resource centre to practice his reading using multimedia tools. He was asking us to go with him, but I am working in saturday.

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*THE WRITING*

The question :

Throughout the world there has been a movement nowadays to ban smoking in public places. Should smoking be prohibited in public places?

In many countries throughout the world, laws have been introduced to prohibit smoking in public places. In Indonesia, however, it is still quite common to see people smoking in areas such as shopping malls, cafes and office buildings. In my opinion this is wrong, and smoking in all public places should be banned.

Firstly, if people smoke in public, they are not only damaging their own health, but also the health of those who choose not to smoke.

My writing :

Smoke of ciggarete (cigarette) mainly produces nicotione acid. Many diseases are triggered by this acid, one of them is TBC (Tuberculosis) which usually takes more than one year to be revealed. The smoke is more dangerous for people around the smoker than the smoker itself. This (these) people are called passive smokers. The percentage of smoke absorbed between passive and active smoker is about seventy five to twenty five percents. So, we can’t let smokers free to smoke in public areas. There will be many people being (be) the victim especially children and old people which have unstable body condition. And not to be forget (forgotten) pregnant women.

Another reason why smoking should be banned in public places is that it sets a bad example to children. (this from the text)

Children like to do what they see. They try many things using their hand. Older people are figures for them, especially their closest family. Many children think smoking is a sign of maturity. How can a father prohibit his children not to (to) smoke  while he is a smoker (?)  So, adult, be the best figure from the children, okay (not need okay).

Finally, smoking creates an unpleasant environment because cigarette smoke makes the air smell bad and also smokers often pollute the ground with discarded cigarette butts and ashes. (this from the text)

The smell of smoke is difficult to vanish. Its sharp smell tends (lasts/lingers) for minutes. Many smokers like to throw the cigarette butts anywhere. Sometimes they forgot to blew  (extinguish/put out)the fire. Many accidents are cause by fires from cigarette.

 Information : words in red mean add by Douglas

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